After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
