I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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