Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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