I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
