So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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