do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
