Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
