watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
