What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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