R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
