all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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