You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
