Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
