left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
