She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
