That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
