dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
