yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
