I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
