the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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