This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
