If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
