Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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