you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You made out with two different species that night
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize