it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
