Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
4 words: hood of his car
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
