Whod you bang
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
