you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
