Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
