I'm lost and stupid without you.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
