Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize