Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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