chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
