If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
