I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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