I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
