My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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