On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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