Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
