i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
no you cant smoke seaweed
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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