i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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