no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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