ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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