So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
