Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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