This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
operation harelip BJ is a go
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
