some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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