i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Your cock deserves a montage
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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