Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
