I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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