She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
