Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
